What Is Love? (Google’s Top Question)

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According to Google, you want to know "what is love" more than you want to know "what is Ebola".  You asked Google, "how to kiss" more than you asked "how to succeed".  We are born to love.  We have a strong, innate desire to love and be loved, and to recognize and name the feeling inside when its there, as well as to make sense of it when its absent.  As humans, we want to belong, be loved and be liked, and when that doesn't happen as often as we think it should, we hurt and can even obsess about it.  In fact, in 2014, you searched "who unfollowed me" more than you asked "who called me".

So, what is love?  For those who are single, is it the rush of excitement when you see that you received a text, a poke, a private message, a comment, a like, or a phone call?  For those who are dating, is it the butterflies or anticipation that you feel when you see their car pull into the driveway?  For those who are married, is it that smile on your face that gives you away, when you're thinking of them or realize that they are thinking of you?    

I believe that love includes all of the feelings described.  We've heard how lasting love also possesses the deeper ability to think of the needs and desires of another, and to put them before your own.  And according to Huffington Post author, Helen Fisher, studies have shown that one of the secrets to lasting love includes a concept known as "positive illusions."  That is, both men and women continuing to feel and tell each other that their partner is ideal for them with regards to intelligence, attraction, energy levels, kindness, value systems.  People who mutually felt this way about their partners have gone on to celebrate many, many, many years together in a committed relationship.  

So, with this study in mind, remember to rediscover the sameness that you share as partners and what drew you together in the first place.  According to the theory of "positive illusions," you may find that love is being an ideal match on the important things, and then make it a special point to celebrate your clear connectedness by preparing his or her favorite dish!  (If you're that similar, it just might be your favorite meal too!"

 

 

 

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